


Game Night

by TheBeckster



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cards Against Humanity, Gen, I am not tagging every single character, Please Do Not Take This Seriously, Team Bonding, but the team's all there, what if we just pretend that everyone gets to sit together and be buddies?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 02:08:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14439201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBeckster/pseuds/TheBeckster
Summary: The Avengers and all of the recently gathered branch teams need a little group bonding exercise to promote group unity. The biggest, blackest box contains exactly what they need.





	Game Night

**Author's Note:**

> So my friend showed me a picture of a set of CAH cards, We had a good laugh and I suggested what if the Avengers ever played CAH, and she said "I'd read that fic" so I wrote the fic.
> 
> This is just a lot of dumb fun. Please don't take this seriously. I quite literally wrote it in like 20 minutes before I fell asleep. And with Infinity War sure to ruin everything and kill me, I figured it was worth cleaning up and posting.  
> Enjoy some team bonding shenanigans.
> 
> (If I just aggressively ignore the fact that somebody is not going to survive IW, because that's how the movies work, can this be considered canon?)

**Game Night**

 

There was a very motley and uneasy collection of heroes all gathered in the main living room of the Avenger’s complex. Aliens and Asgardians and magicians and super soldiers mashed together, and Tony – god knows how – was tasked with coming up with some “bonding exercises.” Probably because, according to Sam, it was his house, his job.

There was plenty of food, and even more alcohol. That should be enough of a catalyst to begin bonding, right? Hell, Parker and Groot had already become fast friends despite the language barrier because of video games. It shouldn’t be this hard to figure this out.

There was a low murmur of chatter between individual teams, but hardly any inter-team mingling. Certain individuals were being given a wide berth, like Loki, which couldn’t really be blamed, but he had proven that all of his genocidal and world domination tendencies were no longer an issue.

“So,” Tony said loudly. The murmurings died down and every eye – save the teenagers – fixed on him. Tony cleared his throat before continuing, “We’ve got quite the crowd here, lot of different people from different places, and it’s come to my attention that we should probably try some exercises. You know,” he clapped his hands together, interweaving his fingers, “for bonding.”

He got a lot of weird looks, but Lang was the first to speak up. “I explicitly stayed away from corporate jobs to avoid doing stupid trust exercises.” The Ant Man looked around to the others, “You guys are great and all, but I’m not doing trust falls.”

“What did you have in mind?” Steve asked.

Tony shrugged somewhat helplessly. He’d never exactly put together a team bonding exercise. They just kind of came together and figured out their trust issues in battle. “I’m open to suggestions.”

“Drinking!” several voices called out.

“Combat!” Drax called even louder.

“Been there, done that.” Tony said, pointing to the alien. “It works until personal feelings get involved and then it’s just messy and feelings get hurt and some people spend a year sulking in a foreign country…” Tony trailed off, avoided looking at Steve and Bucky, and searched the crowd for more suggestions.

“What about a game?” Banner suggested.

“A drinking game!” Valkyrie added.

Tony pointed to the video game absorbed teenagers, “Minors.”

“What’s left then? Board games?” Scott asked with a scoff.

There was a long moment of silence amongst the heroes as they considered the possibilities.

"What about Monopoly?" Steve suggested, counting down the seconds until Tony made a snarky comment about how it's the only game still around from the dark ages. He's more surprised to hear a chorus of "No!" thrown his way by almost everyone who had spent their entire lives on Earth and in one timeline.

"Come on Steve, we just got the team back together. You can't start another messy divorce over Monopoly. I don't think we can put the kids through that again," Tony said, placing his hands on Peter's shoulders in a bracing, fatherly fashion. The teenager looked mildly annoyed, but hardly broke attention from the handheld game Groot was playing.

“Yeah, man, think of the children,” Sam pleaded, “and everyone else. I don’t want to go back to that floating prison again.”

"Besides," Clint added, "there aren't enough pieces for everyone to play." He gestured to the mass of people lounging around the room. "And I will not sit through another fight over who gets to be the little doggie." He added with a threatening gesture.

"Yeah, same," Scott called from his couch.

"If you force me to sit through a game of Monopoly, I will literally project myself into the astral plane," Strange deadpanned.

"Alright, not Monopoly." Steve threw his hands up in defeat. "It was the first thing that came to mind and nobody else had any suggestions."

Tony sighed and paced. "We're supposed to be ‘bonding’ so what can almost twenty people do to bond?"

"Get shit faced," Rocket muttered.

Tony pointed to him. "Yes, but, again, we have minors, so no."

"A card game?" Bruce suggested.

"Poker!" Tony proclaimed.

"Strip poker!" Quill added.

"Nobody could play at your stakes, Tony. We're not billionaires," Wanda said.

"We'll play for pennies, or coffee beans."

"You want to try playing poker against a bunch of trained spies?" Natasha asked with a raised eyebrow.

"She does have a good poker face," Loki added.

"You are not invited to this discussion, Reindeer Games. But no, poker wouldn't work."

"A card game does sound like the best option," Vision suggested.

"But which one?"

Several suggestions were thrown out. "Uno." "Euchre" "52 card pick up" "Go fish" "Pinochle"

"The hell? Pinochle? Are you a 90 year old grandma, Parker? Get out of here with your granny games."

"Whatever game we pick, we're going to need several decks of cards," Sam said.

"Or one really big one," Tony mused. He straightened a bit as the answer hit him. "I've got it! Friday, bring out Cards Against Humanity."

There were several appreciative laughs, and more resigned groans, but, when the biggest, blackest box appeared, they all crammed around the large table.

"So the basic gist is," Tony explained while shuffling a large stack of cards, "there is a Card Czar with every turn, and they draw a black card. Everyone else submits their best answer from their hand and the Czar picks the winner. Collect the most black cards to win. Here," Tony divvied out a handful of blank cards to various members if the table with a handful of pens. "Fill these in with whatever."

 

 

It took well over an hour – and more than a little bit of alcohol – but the group did end up relaxed and thoroughly enjoying the card game. Even despite the awkward moments of "what does that mean?" from the non-earth natives and the minors, and accusations of Rocket cheating because he was the only one who understood Groot and somehow he always won when Groot was the Card Czar.

It was _not_ the raccoon’s fault, he emphatically explained, that he just knew Groot’s sense of humor best.

Eventually the turn wound around to Drax again. He pulled a threefer fill in the blank card. Everyone scoured their hands for the most literal combination they could make. Most were unhappy with their submissions, but held onto hope. Clint seemed rather proud of his combo when he slid the cards over.

Drax read through the submissions, laughing when most didn't, everyone sure their set was the sure winner. Then the last combo came through and Drax read aloud, "Whining like a little bitch, plus Vikings, equals Loki the God of Mischief. Ha!" Drax pounded the table with his fist, fully overcome with laughter, and causing drinks to jump and neatly stacked piles of cards to fall. "It's true!" He declared, pointing down the table to where said God of Mischief sat squeezed between Thor and Valkyrie.

There was a beat of silence, all eyes turned to Loki. Thor and Valkyrie at his side were trying desperately to hold their laughter back.

Loki shrugged and said, "Well, they're not wrong."

The Asgardians burst out laughing. Drax only laughed harder, declaring that set the winner.

Clint was not at all subtle in his victory celebration.

**Author's Note:**

> Remember to be kind to others and keep your comments spoiler free for Infinity War! <3


End file.
